Onward and Upward

Was just sitting here thinking about the past week or so and have come to the conclusion life has just thrown me a sucker ball, at which I swung with abandon, and struck out. Not gonna get me down. Life goes on and gullibility will be less rampant.

Went to a recruiting drive this morning - didn't do much but got a chance to watch some new members, who were sworn in on the 21st, get pinned. Two of our members had their motor home and a nice screened-in tent wherein we ate a wonderful breakfast of bacon, sausage, home-made biscuits, gravy, sliced tomatoes, and gravy. I didn't eat all that stuff, but ate enough to know home cooking can really hit the spot.

Don't know what the exact temperature was out there, but can only say after arriving home, had to literally peel my clothes off me from sweating like a pirate all morning. It was good fellowship, though, and laughed like a fool at some of the antics. They are a great bunch of folks.

This recruiting drive, which continues through the 4th of July, is to get new members into the Alabama State Defense Force - an all volunteer group of people from the age of 17 to 70 who back up the National Guard if they get called up and to assist our community in time of disasters such as tornadoes, fires, accidents, floods, etc. Check out www.103bnalsdf.net to look at our Batallion site - information there will tell you something about us and what kind of activities we pursue.

All is well with this old gal, I've concluded. Live and learn - nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Right!

Milt: Thank you so very much for your post. Your comments have given me hope. I wasn't a "hop into bed at the drop of a hat" type in the past and don't think I should be now, either. Thank you for the two by four hit across the head reminding me being myself isn't bad!

I'm completely out of step with the rest of the world, apparently!

Have I been living under a rock for the past 68 (nearly) years? Maybe I DID just fall down with the rain, after all! What's the deal with men over 70 talking as if they had the hormonal attitude and ability of an 18-year-old?

I'm so confused and frustrated that this posting probably will only prove I'm totally crazy. I can't seem to make any sense out of my life anymore! This fella I have gone ga ga over has ACTED so kind and gentle - a perfect gentleman. All of a sudden, all he wants to talk about is what is going to happen between us in bed! Maybe I missed signals he was sending because I'm kinda sorta on the naive side about a lot of things - even at my age that is possible, you know!

Now, any event which takes place in the bed - okay.....SEX ...... is not exactly my favorite topic of conversation. Oh, go ahead and call me whatever you want. It won't bother me a bit in the world. Anyway, this topic of converstaion is bothersome to me, especially with someone whom I've known for only a short length of time.

I mean, I never did participate in the "bra burning" phase of women's lib - what exactly is women's lib, anyway? I've never filed a "sexual harrassment" suit against anyone because I never was sexually harrassed. Hmm, must give that a LOT more thought on down the road! I didn't exactly have six (6) children by immaculate conception, you know!

The way the conversation went has sent me into a tailspin. I can hear WHY reverberating in my head! Old fashioned am I - yes! Set in my ways - yes! Not in tune with what should really go in a relationship today - totally. What do I do? What do I say? How the heck am I supposed to act?

Boy Howdy, it's hot and humid today. Absolutely had to mow my yard before the forestry department declared it a "no burn area" or "let's clear that brush" zone! Knew better than to go out in that heat, even on a riding lawn mower. But, knew if I waited until this evening I would find yet ANOTHER reason for not getting the mowing done! Didn't quite get done - would you believe I actually got freezing cold? I've had heat stroke before - very quickly parked the lawn mower in the garage and came inside to drink LOTS of water and lay down to rest. Will I ever learn? Doubtful, at best!

After living in the south for well over half of my life, wouldn't you think I would now be acclimated? Not so many years ago, when I was more than on the heavy side, neither the heat nor the cold bothered me at all. Hardly ever broke a sweat, no matter how hard I worked. After losing LOTS of weight and keeping it off for over 10 years now, the heat causes me to sweat into a veritable puddle and the cold - I love the cold weather! Granted, the cold weather here in the Heart of Dixie does not compare to that up north, but it can get quite bitter during the winter months for a few days at a time. I revel in it!

Surely age doesn't have anything to do with it! Huh? What's that you say? That old broad has lost her mind! Yepper, total agreement from me on that one. Lost my mind many years ago and probably far better off for it, too! Keeps me from going completely insane!

In response to Cpt_Pyro - I certainly hope you don't have to go into the "hip breaking" business! Surely did giggle when I read that - nice to know someone out there is willing to come to my defense, if needed!

Irishcoda, I couldn't believe what a wonderful day it turned out to be. Almost felt surreal, but happiness I haven't known in years flooded my soul. Is it possible that "he" is the one? No holds were barred today - we bared our souls to each other and were 100% honest with our feelings, our pasts, and what we want for our futures. I am a happy lady tonight, for sure! And, thanks for your kindness and support.

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself."

O M G - today has been the best day I've had in many moons! We both arrived about 30 minutes early at a local eatery (not that either one of us was anxious or anything like that you understand!). He pulled in about 3 minutes after I did on his motorcycle. I walked to the corner of the building and watched him remove his helmet and fix his hair before he noticed me standing there, leaning against the wall, and grinning like a cheshire cat! Inauspicious beginning, right? But, gave us something to laugh about right off the bat!

Thought we might have to pay rent because we sat there in that booth chattering like magpies for what seemed to be a few minutes, but turned out to be a couple of hours. Drank coffee and talked, talked, talked, and then talked some more!

Went from there - he on his motorcycle and me in my car - to a local park where we sat at a picnic table and talked some more. It's as if I've known him all my life. He stated, "Didn't we go to different schools together?" We were there, in all that heat and humidity, talking about anything and everything for four more hours - getting to know each other!

What a gentleman - as well as a gentle man - he is. We are both from the same school of old fashioned beliefs, mores, and norms. Talk about having "stuff" in common! It's scary how much we have in common - our lives may have taken different directions, but the manner in which we traveled those paths parallel and are nearly mirror images of each other.

The best part of the day was that I felt NO pressure to be anyone other than myself with him - and I do believe that he felt the same way. Would you believe he's already told his sister about me? Is that cool or what?

And, we kissed! Yepper, we did. All I will say about that is WOW!

We plan to see each other again soon!

Looking through a glass darkly.

Isn't it wonderful how a few kind and gentle words can change one's life? Kindness and gentleness have been foreign and completely unknown to me in my past, and to all of sudden be faced with the fact that I can be treated thusly totally boggles my mind.

Call me old fashioned, antiquated, out of step with the 21st century, or whatever. But, this woman will go to her grave believing that a kind word will help to ease a lot of pain and a gentle nature will bring forth love, compassion, tenderness, and complete devotion.

None of us should be afraid of being honest and forthright with anyone and everyone with whom we come in contact. However, the lack of compassion while being honest and forthright is usually abrasive and often, hurtful. The need for tenderness from someone we love, when it isn't met, can be devastating. To have someone completely devoted to me would bring that wall of protection I've built around myself tumbling down into a pile of dust. Love is a word that should never be used lightly because love hurts like a dull ache that just won't go away while it causes great and boundless joy. Deprive a person of love and watch that person become an empty shell - resembling a human being but unable to be humane.

Tomorrow, I take a huge step into my unknown future. What path it leads me toward, I have no idea. There may be nothing more that comes from tomorrow than a new friend - and that would be okay. Right now, I'm sobbing quietly as I type this in hopes that I may, finally, have found my soul mate. Don't you, dear reader, cry for me. Laugh with me because for a little while, at least, I am young again.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Couldn't sleep last night - attempted 3 different times to crash and each time had a case of the "wide eye." The History Channel didn't make me sleepy, either! Sometime after 3:00 a.m., as I curled up on the couch with my favorite quilt, I drifted off.

My brain is on over-load! My life may very well become tilted off its normal axis. Had a case of goose bumps as large as golf balls and weak-kneed trembles during a telephone conversation which lasted way past the witching hour of midnight! Now, I find myself thinking, "Will Wednesday never get here?"

This usually very conservative, ultra careful, highly suspicious, and quite cynical old gal finds herself throwing caution to the wind. Who was it that coined the phrase "Life begins at 40?" Maybe a new life can begin at almost 68? Trying awfully hard to remain completely sensible, but the wall of pessimism behind which I've existed for many years is severely crumbling into dust.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Thanks, irishcoda, for your comment. Not really sure why apprehension lurks in my mind. Some of the horror stories about men preying on widows (and women not being who they claim to be and taking men for all they've got) certainly adds to the mix of emotions.

A Cowardly Lion am I

Isn't life wonderful !

I believe it was Yogi Berra who said "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." There's a fork in the road of life ahead of me, and I'm just gonna have to take it!

Don't know how it happened, but I've got a date with a very nice gentleman on Wednesday. Well, maybe date is rather a strong word. Actually, I am going to meet this very nice gentleman for the first time at a very public place on Wednesday for a cup of coffee and a chat!

He's rather attractive, very intelligent, a Yankee originally, and he's a singer, for goodness sake! Haven't heard him sing, but his speaking voice is delightfully pleasant.

I must admit I'm scared to death while being very excited about meeting him. I know, scared and excited don't usually belong in the same sentence. What can I say - at this late stage of my life stirred emotions are wonderfully exhilerating. It's been a long time since I've been giddy!

Nothing may come of it - he might not like me when he actually sees and talks to me. I'm far from being a "looker," but I'd lot rather be smart than beautiful anyway! Yeah, right!

I've got tonight and all day tomorrow to talk myself out of it. Been there, done that! Input from others would be helpful.

Stupidity ruled for a short time!

While watching 48 Hours/Mystery last night, I was over-taken by the kindness and compassion shown by the creator/owner of True.com! Although the show kept my attention riveted for a full hour, back in the darkest, deepest regions of the unconscious portion of my usually alert brain was the idea I should "check out True.com."

Once the show was finished, I found myself rushing to my computer to log onto the Internet and check out this marvelous site. Wouldn't you think that a mentally above-average and normally very cyncial old fart such as myself would have known better? I would think so, too - but of course, hind sight is 20-20!

Yepper, my cynicism was proven out. Oh, there's a "free" 7-day trial period, but only 3 days worth of e-mailing permission. But, I learned about the 3 days worth of e-mailing AFTER i joined up - but I WAS smart enough to NOT complete the extensive personal information survey required for one to find that "perfect match."

Today, sanity has prevailed and I've cancelled my membersip EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. Didn't I receive an e-mail explaining that because traffic is so heavy it might "take a while" for someone to get back to me! Oh me, sometimes I can do the stupidest things and wonder afterwards what ever possessed me.