Sometimes down, but never out!

Sometimes I can't help but wonder why things happen the way they do! For example, why did I have six children, only to bury three of them way before their time? Is it possible for us to have any control over our lives or do we just take the hands which are dealt to us and do our best to cope?

I certainly believe in God and His power in my life. I cannot begin to count the times over the years I've stated, "God looks after fools and drunks, and He's looked after this fool for many years!" After becoming a Christian, that mantra became even more viable to me!

During this, the most difficult phase of my life, I find myself more often than not in a very contemplative mood. Why am I still here? What is being planned for me? How much longer do I have to remain here on this old earth? If I could live my life over, would I change anything?

Then, I find myself in total amazement and awe because of my life and my achievements. They can't be held in my hands or displayed for others to see in a beautiful cabinet - they are probably meaningless to anyone other than me, too! My sons raised their children in the same manner as I raised them! Hmm, makes me realize I MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING RIGHT during their formative years ! My oldest son and his wife, along with five of my grandchildren are striving for college degrees as a result of my receiving a BBA at the ripe old age of 60! Their statements of "If Mom can do it and If Gram can do it so can I" create a warm spot in my heart!

Friends and acquaintances have told me how I influenced them to lose weight, stop drinking, quit smoking, get a hobby, love their children more, live life to the fullest! My goodness, as they tell me these things, I can't remember being such a paragon of virtue !! I've known all of my life I'm very opinionated, stubborn as a mule, independently natured, and very sentimental about stupid things! What happened during my travels through this life of mine whereby I receive these kudos from family and friends?

We never know how much we are being watched by both those we love and hold dear and those whom we will never really know. Others have been influential to me, why wouldn't I be the same for others? That never occurred to me until recently. How wonderful it is to live a life during which we offer others comfort, solace, friendship, love, compassion, even anger sometimes!

So, as I wax sentimental about my life and my old age, I am grateful to all those who have helped me make my way along. And, if I were able to assist others, I no longer consider myself any where near a failure - my life has counted for something to many others and for that I am blessed. Don't count me out yet, though! Life is wonderful and I've still got a lot to give!

Micky Finn has pontificated again!