Thursday, January 29, 2009

It's the small things that matter the most!

My thanks to "Elron" for the encouraging words posted to my blog! Time seems to slip away from me much too quickly - seems like my last post was just yesterday! Now I fully realize my age has definitely caught up with me!

The holidays were excruciating for me. Why? Don't really have an answer that makes much sense as these past holidays were no different than the previous nine had been! Spent them alone - well, not quite alone, had my faithful companion Freckles with me! But, the aloneness seemed much worse for some strange reason, and I let it get to me for a while. Would have thrown a pity party for myself, but was afraid nobody would attend!

During a difficult cold snap (difficult for the "Heart of Dixie", that is), I became most aware of the fact that what gives me the most joy, delight, and ultimate pleasure is the smallest of things. One evening, as I let Freckles out for her next to last "piddle" for the day, I stepped onto the front porch and viewed the most spectacular sunset ever! The red, purple, blue, mauve sky was a feast for the eyes. For the next few days, I made a point of going outside to view the sunsets which (in my opinion) were awe inspiring as a result of the extremely cold weather! I found myself saying thank you for the cold - without which my eyes wouldn't have viewed such awesome displays and my heart was uplifted each day!

While chatting with a friend on the telephone about some of our favorite foods, I mentioned how I hadn't enjoyed a meal of pinto beans in quite a while. The next evening, she brought me a bowl of pinto beans that had to have been the best I've ever eaten in my entire life! Was sorely tempted to lick the bowl, they were that good ! No way would anyone have been able to wipe the smile from my face that evening!

I've been leaving a handful of catfood on my patio table on the front porch for what I thought was a feral cat. Each morning, within a few minutes after rattling the box and making a huge display of placing the food on the table, the critter would skulk ever so carefully up onto my porch, leap gracefully onto the table, and very guardedly devour the food. This went on for about three weeks. Then, one morning, I was later than usual with the ritual and changed it slightly - without meaning to do so. I put the box of food inside the house, and proceeded out to the mailbox to see what bills might be waiting for me! As I walked back to the porch, the cat met me on the next to top step, meowed at me, and then rubbed against my leg whilst purring! I was able to pet the beauty before he (it is a he) sped away. So, each morning I look forward to a visit from Mr. Stranger! Brings a smile to my face and gives me a warmth all over!

I recently celebrated my 71st birthday - never thought I would live this long! I fixed a killer guacamole dip, baked some terrific brownies, and pigged out on "junk" practically all day! It was wonderful, especially when I realized I'm not taking ANY medications, am in fairly good shape for the shape I'm in, have most of my mental faculties working quite well, can eat whatever I want, and each day I'm given is a gift!

The pecan crop from my two trees was bountiful this year. I placed a sign on my fence informing anyone driving past to help themselves to the pecans. The squirrels got their fair share, as did the deer and the crows! But, a couple of my neighbors reaped the harvest as well, and brought me some individual pecan pies which have been lovingly placed in my freezer to enjoy whenever the urge strikes! Yum!

It's not much fun being a widow - that's for sure. Sometimes I find myself screaming inside of my head "Why did you die and leave me alone?" I have as yet to know the answer to that question. I DO know alone absolutely stinks and is unbearable. But, I also know I'm here for some reason and whatever it is, I need to spend more time looking for and enjoying the small wonders of good in my life rather than dwelling on the things that are bad and scary to and for me. A lot of times, that is easier said than done. All I can do is try to do the best I can with what time I have left to me and be thankful for the small things that become huge in their wonder and delight.

Mickey Finn has spouted off, AGAIN!