Stone Age!

Somehow, someway, I find myself behind the times - technologically speaking, that is!

I have no idea what a blue ray or a blue tooth is! I have a VCR that is still showing 12:00 - blink - blink -blink! Cell phone? Don't have one - the newer ones (from what I see on the commercials advertising them on television) I'd never be able to figure out how to dial, much less use my arthritic thumbs to send text messages or play games! Can't help but wonder what the heck an RSS streamer is!

The only reason I know what LCD stands for is my 21 year-old 27" television laid down and died on me. Ordered a new television (over the phone - how kewl is that?) and was blown over when it was delivered the next day ! It is a 22" flat screen LCD! Fits ever so snugly in my entertainment center, with plenty of room left over for a night light! Of course, it took me nearly three weeks to figure out that LCD stands for Liquid Crystal Display!

Wouldn't have had any notion as to what "broad band" meant until I learned that I can't get it because I live so far out in the country! It must be nice to be able to push a button on the dashboard of your car and learn exactly where you are and what the status is of your vehicle! Imagine not already knowing your car is due for an oil change! Another new-fangled invention in automobiles - also using satellites out in space - allows police, nosy parents, and the drivers to discover exactly where the car is at any given time of day or night! Heard the other day that there soon will be a device installed in vehicles which will prevent the ignition from being started if the potential driver is under the influence of alcohol! Hmm, wonder where the designated driver went! Followed in the footsteps of the dinosaurs, I guess - extinct!

Pay bills using the computer? I'm afraid to open my e-mail most of the time because of the fear of getting a "Trojan"! That's when I REALLY knew I would never catch up with the times because of my knowledge of what a "Trojan" used to be and why it was used! A friend of mine has a remote control which can start her car for her so that she won't be hot in the summer or cold in the winter when she decides to brave the elements to walk the four feet out her front door to her car! It took me 3 weeks to get used to the fact that I had to use two remote controls for my television sets throughout the house - yes, I have 3 ! One remote turns the television set on and off, while the other one I can readily use to change the channels.

I have satellite television service - sure do miss not using my old antenna on a tall pole out behind the house. I guess the satellite doesn't know the difference between a heavy dew and a cloudy sky! Haven't quite figured out yet why my "touch lamp" in my sewing room is on every morning when I shuffle to the bathroom. Either I have gremlins living in the house or there's someone hiding in the closet playing pranks on me - or, technology is just too difficult for me to figure out!

I'd like to think I'm fairly well computer literate - but some of the lingo leaves me colder than a brass witch's boobies in Siberia! High definion ? what exactly is that? and why does one have to pay for it? As for ATMs - I do all of my banking in person at my bank! Don't want nor need a piece of plastic to withdraw my money and have to pay for doing so!

Yes, I'm old lady. And yes, I manage to keep myself mentally and physically active. But, I think I was born at the wrong time and in the wrong age. I believe I would have been much better off in the Stone Age where I wouldn't have to try so hard to keep up!