Friends

As I sit here dunking my Oreo "double stuff" in milk, it occurred to me how powerful the word friend has become to me. And, how friends not only have come and gone throughout my life, but how they've changed.

While the better half of a couple (before my hubby died), our friends were mainly other couples. When I was single, my friends were mainly single. Until a few moments ago, this didn't seem to be very important to me.

Since becoming a widow, it appears that my place isn't with either the married or the single group. Those of my age who are still married often make me feel as if I'm an intruder into their private world. And single folks in my age bracket think I should be "acting my age." Couldn't help but be surprised when told "widows shouldn't want to date or have fun." Guess they think I should be in perpetual mourning.

Most of those I call "friend" are younger than me, don't expect anything from me but to return friendship, and they are men! Hmm, I must delve into that more!

My very best friend in the world (my soul sister) is married and has told me she can't relate to being a widow at all. Neither could I until it happened to me!

Who made the rules about how a widow (or widower) should act? Is there a book of etiquette somewhere that I should study in earnest so that I don't screw up? Am I supposed to lay down with a lily in my hands and wait for death to overtake me because I am widowed?

Aw, to heck with it. You know what? There's just not enough time left for me to worry about what is or isn't right for me to do. I'm going to enjoy what time I have left!

Wish I knew what I am doing!

Did you ever have a day when you wish you hadn't? Today has been one of those days - everything I've picked upI've dropped, everything I've tried to say came out bassackwards, and no matter what I've tried to do it hasn't been right. My dog even wouldn't have anything to do with me today!

Blogging is brand-new to me and I feel like I just fell of the proverbial turnip truck 'cuz I am so lost in this new-to-me cyberspace means of communicating! It's not my style to back away from a challenge, but this one has me stymied. Will I ever learn all the intracacies involved?

Not even sure that my previous posting will be found by anyone once this posting is up! Go ahead, laugh at me! I'm literally ROFLMFAO at myself right now because of feeling so inadequate. Nothing unusual - but would like to emerge from the clouds of dumbness into enlightenment!

Not really sure I should do this!

Oftentimes, people will use the term "golden years" to describe the life-style of people who are of retirement age or above!

I'd like to know - who came up with that totally nondescript title for my life as it is today? Must have been someone with the mentality of a flitting flea who hadn't yet reached puberty!

Golden years my fanny! My golden years took place when I was young and had plenty of spunk!

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm mighty glad to be alive and kicking (although not as high as I'd like to be able to kick), and am very proud that I still have some remaining mental prowess.

Being a widow is one of the hardest things I've ever done - it's a lonely road upon which I'm walking these days, through no fault of mine. Maybe life would be more "golden" if there were someone with whom I could share the remainder of my life.

Everyone ASSUMES that because I've always been a very independent person, capable of taking care of everything and everyone, that I should be able to continue thusly. Old age is not all that much fun unless it's happening to someone else, don'tcha know. Health deteriorates, ability to do things that used to come easy is no longer present, and food doesn't taste good when eaten without someone to talk with.

This widow's walk is a place wherein I hope to be able to vent my feelings, tell about some wonderful, funny, and tragic things that have happened in my life, and maybe - just maybe - someone out there will post an occasional message to me to lift my spirits or give me a quick verbal kick in the rear.