Reflections

Another year has come and gone in a flash! Just when I was beginning to get used to writing 2006 on checks, etc., I now have to retrain my brain for 2007! Although this writer would prefer to believe being busy accounts for the speed with which 2006 disappeared, in truth it has more to do with age. Of that I am most sure !

As I reflect over the past year, many things happened over which I had no control or even thought could have occurred. In April, for no apparent reason other than the fact I may have sneezed too hard, I fractured my pelvis! Despite being an avid fan of milk, taking massive doses of calcium for years, it seems I'm the victim of osteo porosis (hope I spelled that correctly). This knowledge has made me more frightened of possibly falling and breaking something that will hospitalize me for a protracted length of time.

A recalcitrant spider bit me on the nape of my neck during the summer...doctors couldn't seem to ascertain why I was so sick. After three days of unknowns, an aide was washing my hair and found the bite. She is now my newest hero! Immediate treatment put me back vertical and recovery was swift!

After lengthy contemplation, I decided to resign from the Alabama State Defense Force (ASDF). It was one of the most difficult decisions I've made in a very long time, as I truly had believed I had attained enough training to be of service to my community in times of need. Although I miss the missions and training, I don't miss the politics and "good old boy" attitude which caused many good men and women to either resign or take long leaves of absence. It's a shame, because the original "mission" of the organization is not to back bite, shuffle for positions, and put on a uniform just to look good and impress someone!

I'm hurt and confused by the fact that those who had called me "friend" for years have pushed me aside as if I were completely disposable. As a result, I find myself withdrawing more and more into myself...which I know is not good for me! However, at this late stage in my life, hurt doesn't ease as quickly as it did when I was younger.

My widowhood has lasted now for eight years. Loneliness for companionship and someone with whom I can share my life overwhelms me more and more often. Even with writing the previous statement, I fully realize in order to meet, I must greet! The thought of starting over again is almost distasteful to me and quite frightening, too! There's not that much time left for me in this world...that's a fact which I acknowledge with honesty and forthrightness. Not much going for me except for the fact (thankfully) that I still have all my mental faculties. I'm a shriveled up old lady that society in general ignores and would prefer I not make my presence known. Age discrimination is most rampant in these times. So much for my golden years!

I no longer create and digitize embroidery designs as the joy seems to be gone from the passion I once had. It seems that most people don't want to pay for beautiful designs which take a great deal of time and effort to create. Although it is a pleasure to give the stitched out designs away as gifts and "freebies," it doesn't help me make my money match the length of the month!

Since I was given the gift of Club Membership on Pogo, I find myself playing various games on that website more and more. As a result, I have met some wonderful new "cyberspace friends" from all over the world. We have wonderful conversations, usually ending up in fits of laughter. That laughter has helped to keep me from going berzerk! Yet, there's nothing like receiving a phone call from a friend and hearing a REAL voice! Can't begin to count the many times I've wished my dog, Miss Freckles, could verbalize! She's an excellent listener, but offers no feedback!!

The state of affairs in the world today makes me glad that I'm on the downhill side of life. The terrible things which inundate the news continuously should frighten all of us! Our younger generation scares me...they won't be prepared to take on the management of world affairs as long as their parents remain unable and unwilling to teach them manners and morals. The Good Lord knew what He was doing when he arranged for young people to have children, this I know and understand. But, kids who are parents of kids...neither stands a snowball's chance in you know where!

I wish I were capable of settling everything that is awry in the world today. But, I'm also glad I am not because who would listen?

Mickey Finn is finished reflecting!