Wednesday, January 10, 2007

2007 has arrived!

It is my wish that everyone who reads this has had a wonderful and safe celebration during the New Year festivities. This writer had every intention of staying awake (for the first time) to see the new year in, but, as usual, I didn't make it. The last time I looked at the clock it was 11:10 and the next thing I knew, it was six o'clock on January 1st! Think that must qualify me for the "old fuddy duddy" award!

In three more days, my birthday once again arrives. Sometimes, it is unbelievable that 69 years have gone by in such a blur of speed. Other times, memories flood my heart with such an overflow of emotion that the happenings, both happy and sad, seemed as if they occurred only yesterday. Why is it the older we get, the more we seem to remember of our childhood? Or is this a phenomenon dedicated only to me?

The longer I am alone, the closer to me is my childhood imaginary friend "Emily Margaret." I hadn't thought about her (with any continuity of thougt) for a very long time. Lately, however, I have been delving into my psyche to ascertain why she keeps returning to my mind with regularity. My imaginary friend saved my life many moons ago - literally! Of course, when I was a youngster, nobody could convince me she was merely a figment of my imagination. She was as real to me during those dark days of childhood as my darling friend, Miss Freckles, is today! Sometimes, just before falling asleep, I can almost SEE her there beside my bed. I very nearly HEAR her telling me to be strong and think only happy thoughts. Oh dear, am I regressing back into being a little girl all over again? Heaven forbid that should happen.

Maybe my subconscious is telling me to get out and about. Truthfully, I'm not listening to that advice from within. It is so much easier to stay at home, where I feel safe, contented, and even happy to be here. The only human voices I absolutely do hear and listen to these days is on television...don't even talk to Miss Freckles much any more. If the telephone rings, often I panic to have to think of something to say. Believe me when I say, I've always had something to say. Now, it doesn't matter to me that it doesn't get said! It is horrible for me to have to get out to do small chores, such as grocery shopping or put gas in the car.

However, when I go to teach conversational English to some Hispanic folks, I revel in the fact that I'm doing something productive and worthwhile. Today, for example, I did some number crunching at my part-time job and was thrilled to be busy, both physically and mentally. Yet, when I get home, all I want to do is withdraw. Freud would have a field day with me, is that what you are thinking? Maybe so, but my conclusion is that I can be as lazy as I want to be when I am at home and nobody but me gives a durn about it ... including me! There ya go...Mickey Finn has diagnosed herself AGAIN.

I truly enjoy sunrises and sunsets...have done so ever since I can remember. A short time ago, the sunset was absolutely glorious. The stark nakedness of the trees against all that color, with not a cloud to soften the starkness of those bleak and dark branches projecting forward against the plethora of oranges, reds, and golds mixed with mauve and various shades of purples, left me breathless. Each sunrise and sunset is different...thankfully. I think that's why I never get bored veiwing them. Not many more sunrises and sunsets left for me to ogle...life is so short and flashes by so quickly I find myself wishing there could be more than one rise and set of the sun each day! How fruitless a wish that is!

Mickey Finn is going to have a glass of milk and some double stuff Oreos to help her contemplate with a modicum of seriousness what LIFE is all about! Happy New Year to all!