Strength is much more than muscle power !

It never ceases to amaze me at the strength we have when we are our most confused or feel at our very weakest - mentally and physically! This posting is especially for cydne and Beth - thank you for your postings to my blog.

About a year before my husband died, a mutual friend of ours lost his wife in a tragic accident. His grief was most palpable and we felt such sorrow for him. Imagine our shock when, within less than three months, he remarried. At the time, I just could not understand! However, a few months after I lost my husband, I suddenly got very smart about his situation. I now can undersand when he said "I just can't be alone and my wife was such a good friend of hers that it just seemed the natural thing to do." That was almost eleven years ago and he and his wife are very happy and love each other very much.

From somewhere within ourselves, during our confusion, grief, anger, guilt, and loneliness, we find a mighty strength to face a different way of life. Often, the aloneness is overwhelming, yet we strive forward the best way we know how in an attempt to maintain order. Family, friends, acquaintances - even an old biddy who posts well-intentioned messages on her blog - cannot ease the pain. We have to do that by calling on the strength we just can't seem to believe we have!

We should never judge ourselves for what we feel, believe, want, need, or seek. Happiness cannot be measured on any kind of meter, my friends. Happiness is so very personal - what makes me happy would probably not do the same for you! Comfort food makes me happy - puts a smile on my face and a warmth in my belly. Finding a great bargain at a thrift store or yard sale makes me grin from ear to ear! Listening to a baby laugh gives me great joy! Seeking happiness, in any form, is not a crime against society!

The confusion we often feel about our emotional status can cause us pain and severe bouts of guilt. We allow this to happen ! We often think that because someone else cares about us that we are committing a terrible sin! Drive this out of your head immediately! Yes, our hearts are on our sleeves and we are very vulnerable - doesn't change much over time, either. A kind word can set me off into bouts of tears. When someone does something unexpected to help me, I find myself wishing I had done that myself because I don't want to be a burden! You see what I mean? Then, I mentally beat myself about my head and shoulders to make me realize that's the vulnerabilty I still feel making me crazy!

As each day passes, you will find yourself stronger than the day before - little things that used to bring a tear to your eyes will now cause you to chuckle a little bit. Chores you found difficult to do will now be a challenge you want to face and accomplish! People from whom you found yourself withdrawing will become welcome and dearest of friends. You will find yourself having more patience with family and friends who "just don't understand."

What does this all boil down to? Strength from within, which will serve you well. Call on that strength, as it is your greatest ally.

Mickey Finn has spouted off - again!