Compliments versus Smoke Blowing!
Sometimes it is difficult to ascertain whether someone is paying me a true compliment or just blowing smoke up my skirt! Know what I mean?
Speaking for myself, whenever I give someone a compliment, it is truthful and from the heart. I don't know any other way. If I'm asked "Do you like this dress?" and I don't, I say so! That way, there's no opportunity for me to lie or the other person to wonder what I mean! My bluntness has often gotten me into very hot water, but backing down is not an option.
If I tell someone "I admire you for your honesty and forthrightness," that's exactly what I mean! If I tell someone anything that is complimentary, it is because I mean what I say and I say what I mean.
Someone once told me "You are beautiful." Now, that was definitely a case of having smoke blown up my skirt. NEVER before nor after that day has anyone referred to me as beautiful! Even my own brother, when telling someone else about his sister, would say "She ain't much to look at, but she's got a nice personality!" Now, that was a truthful compliment that I've cherished for a long time!
Today I was told how wonderful I am, how good I am at what I do, and that I'm NEEDED desparately! Yeah, right! Like I'm the only person in this world that can do or be needed? And the person doing the telling went on to say that OTHERS also think I'm irreplaceable! Think I should invest in a special mask to wear to prevent myself from breathing in all this toxic smoke!
Everyone enjoys receiving a compliment, including me. But, a truthful compliment means so very much more than out and outright flattery that doesn't contain one iota of truth. A kind word is complimentary to me - it's as good as receiving a bouquet of flowers. In fact, I've said ever since I can remember "give me my flowers while I'm still alive - flowers at my funeral won't mean a thing to me." When my kids tell me they love me, when I'm told I'm a good and true friend, when I receive a thank you for something I've done for someone ----- these are compliments I hold dear to my heart.
Will someone lend me a fan to clear the smoke out of my house, please?
posted by mickey_finn at 1:56 PM
4 Comments:
I agree! Most of the time you wonder what the true intentions of that person might be if you're not sure about the compliment....if it is just "smoke blowing!" Very Nice!
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Your honesty is what brings me back. I just see the words. I only see the words and they are beautiful and honest. That's all I ask. It's the same with all the pages I link to, almost all anyway.
Don't be so modest, you are a wonderful person and a great friend you are irreplacable!
Sometimes ... and not always ... people who pay a compliment like 'you are beautiful' aren't referring to your outer beauty. Beauty, of the soul ... of the spirit ... and of the mind ... is STILL beauty. Perhaps they are paying you more of a compliment than you know.
I too appreciate truth in compliments ... to tell untruths is to lessen the validity of any compliment by any person. But we often find it hard to accept compliments that are true, but we feel aren't because we really don't know how we come off to other people.
I have trouble accepting compliments ... but have learned that sometimes when I think they are untrue or shady at best, that they are indeed true ... but mean something different than I thought they did.
You are a unique person and as such you ARE irreplaceable!
Hugs.
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