We are what we are.......

While lunching at my favorite local eatery recently, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation taking place behind me. Three or four ladies were busily reliving their lives with "What if...", "If only...," "I wish I had said or done...," and "I shoulda' done or said..." All of them, at one time or another during their discussion, bluntly stated "My life would have been completely different and much happier if..."

I was astonished at the rampant negativity, apparent unhappiness, and complete despair these ladies portrayed with their eloquently worded pictures of their lives! It appeared to me as if they were reveling in what could or should have been. To not have been able to find anything good to say about what ACTUALLY HAD BEEN made me wonder if they have EVER bothered to look forward. Plus, it caused me to ponder how many times I might have attempted to second-guess myself throughout the years!

What is the old saying - an Optimist sees the glass half full and a Pessimist sees the glass half empty! Well, this old gal will have to plead guilty to being an aggravating optimist. I've always seen the silver lining before the clouds have begun to clear!

Even, when as a child, I endured cruelty beyond imagination from alcoholic parents, I somehow knew I would be okay - thanks to my imaginary friend. "Those who have been abused usually become abusers themselves" is a quote I've heard so many times it makes me want to barf green slime! Those who have committed heinous crimes against others and use the excuse for clemency "I was abused as a child" are merely copping out - in my opinion. "We are what we are because we choose to be what we are" is my favorite saying!

My imaginary friend, Emily Margaret, left me suddenly when I got the grit in my craw at nearly 17 years of age to look my mother in the eye and tell her "If you ever try to beat or hit me again, I won't be responsible for what I will do." Something in my eyes told her I had FINALLY had enough and I was never beat or hit again. When I told my first husband "You ever raise your hand to me again and I'll kill you," he wasn't sure he believed me. When he tried again to whup up on me, I cold cocked him with an iron skillet full of corn bread fresh out of the oven, gathered up the kids, and walked away to never look back! Needless to say, I didn't kill him, but that man is scared to death of me to this day and I've not seen him in 40 years!!!

But, I have digressed from the main theme of today's writing. The conversation I overhead caused me to ponder why I've always maintained a positive attitude about life and I think I came up with the answer. I've usually been too busy looking ahead to bother with looking back.

Oh sure, there are days I get down and feel like throwing a pity party for myself (but then, who would I invite??? LOL), and I've endured tragedies which should have put me in the rubber room at the funny farm. And being a widow is the furthest state of living I ever could have imagined being in at my age.

Somehow, though, the boot straps have always been there when I've needed to pull myself up by them! And, something good has always come from whatever bad has occurred to lift me up and put a smile in my heart and on my face! When I thought this all through, I found myself feeling very sorry for those ladies who supposed had nothing good to make them look ahead.

Optimism Rules!

Mickey Finn is through pontificating!