Poor Milt

Visited Milt's site today - read most of his postings, too! Hope he can find phone number he was expecting - don't want him to go into a total funk because of rejection!

Blonde Joke

Telephone rings at fire station. When answered by one of the fearless firefighters, he heard a woman screaming, "Come quick, my house is on fire."
The fireman, in an attempt to calm the caller, asked: "Where's your house, ma'am?" The blonde and panicky woman exclaimed loudly and with panic in her voice, "Right where it's always been, fool."
Again, the fireman asked: "Where are you, ma'am?" She, now rather huffy, loudly stated, "I'm in the middle of my living room and there's fire all around."
By now, the fireman has about lost it himself, so he shouts into the phone: "How do we get there?" She replied, with a great deal of indignation, "Well, duh, big red truck" and hung up!

Embarrassment can also be hilarious, especially if the other person is the one embarrassed!

During the recruiting drive, one of our members (who is a VERY large man), wanted something cold to drink. So, he pushed back his chair from the table at which he was sitting, stood up, and his trousers fell right to his ankles. Those of us present immediately hooted and hollered and laughed like hyenas, while he ever so casually reached down and pulled them back up. If he said anything, I was laughing too hard to hear him. But, it should be noted, his face wasn't only red, it looked like it was on fire!

Many years ago, our return trip from Germany back to the good old U. S. of A. was on the USNS Buckner - an old troop transport. To say the accommodations were austere would be putting it mildly! Everything was thick metal - beds, walls, doors, floors, tables, chairs, everything! Because of bad storms, the 8-day trip took 14 days, what with sailing what seemed like every ocean on this planet to get to land! And, it was January - colder than a frozen drool-covered bulldog's lower lip. I went down the hallway? to the shower with change of clothes, towels, soap, etc. All hatches were locked into the open position to prevent harm to any of us. Just at the point in my shower whereby I was completely lathered up, the bow of the ship went up and then slammed down so hard that I was thrown out of the the shower into the hallway?, where I slid approximately 25 feet and stopped right at the feet of the fellow who had been assigned to our cabin (we were traveling with two kids, too). Ever so politely, he leaned down, helped me to my feet, wrapped me in one of the biggest towels I've ever seen then or since, and I scampered back to our cabin. In a few minutes, there he appeared with all of my paraphenalia from the shower room in a very neat pile and handed them to my husband - who was totally speechless to begin with because I had returned to the cabin in the state of undress! It happened to be my birthday and I was invited to sit at the Captain's table for birthday cake. There on my cake was ME - cake decorator had drawn with icing the description the cabin steward had given of me when I landed at his feet earlier in the day. It was very flattering - didn't really look like me - but had trouble looking anyone in the eye for the rest of the trip!